i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Boobs are out for the taking
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
