I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
