glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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