If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
