i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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