I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Is it because I queefed?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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