I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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