If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
