We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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