whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
