on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
