Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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