You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
