I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
