u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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