She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
