It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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