my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
