People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
