that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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