Will you blow on my dice?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
