Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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