All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
