You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
