i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
