i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
