I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
