Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i drank out of a bidet.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
