We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Randomize
