I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
