I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
