I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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