Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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