oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
