I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
