My underwear smells like fireworks.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
