Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
