the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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