I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
