omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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