I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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