we have pet lesbian snakes
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
