i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
