Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
