So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
