I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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