he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
