It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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