It's Friday. Sex?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He felt like a one man threesome
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
