Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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