Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
