Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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